He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
