He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
