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How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
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