Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(931): View more from Tennessee

How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??

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(931): How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"?? http://tfl.nu/pyr1

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Let me guess--your parents are cousins.

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(337): Let me guess--your parents are cousins. http://tfl.nu/a2p5

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night

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(307): Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night http://tfl.nu/tl6b

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(819): View more from Quebec

Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?

(604): View more from British Columbia

Each and every day.

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(819): Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough? (604): Each and every day. http://tfl.nu/71fx

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(803): View more from South Carolina

just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one

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(803): just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one http://tfl.nu/7c6m

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(919): View more from North Carolina

sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.

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(919): sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer. http://tfl.nu/u6do

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(404): View more from Georgia

I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?

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(404): I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing? http://tfl.nu/vakp

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You could give me a blowjob later? :)

(1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I meant do something romantic..

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Blowjob In the moonlight?

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(321): You could give me a blowjob later? :) (1-321): I meant do something romantic.. (321): Blowjob In the moonlight? http://tfl.nu/na1u

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(613): View more from Ontario

She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.

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(613): She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place. http://tfl.nu/avtw

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm

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(505): I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm http://tfl.nu/1dm0

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(931): View more from Tennessee

My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.

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(931): My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake. http://tfl.nu/j2xw

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(530): View more from California

So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"

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(530): So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU" http://tfl.nu/a6ng

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(812): View more from Indiana

he went at my nipples like a starved dog.

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(812): he went at my nipples like a starved dog. http://tfl.nu/ku4j

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(440): View more from Ohio

He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.

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(440): He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face. http://tfl.nu/bq6r

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(248): View more from Michigan

How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?

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(248): How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break? http://tfl.nu/c6en

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