I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
