what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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