I wanna bring you to show and tell
okay pat passed out under dana's car
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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