And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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