i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
