I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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