Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
