she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
