In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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