Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
