Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
