I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
