last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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