You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
