I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Randomize