I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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