dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There's always time for handjobs
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
