We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
