It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
