her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
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See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
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She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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