how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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