I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
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In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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