Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
