I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it's like iHOP with fire
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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