why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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