I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
