well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize