I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
