i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize