Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?

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  (303): He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay? http://tfl.nu/l4uw
  Replies (6) Good night (987) Bad night (1927)
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  (858): View more from California

  we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.

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  (858): we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching. http://tfl.nu/2epj
  Replies (7) Good night (1041) Bad night (1581)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.

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  (251): i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening. http://tfl.nu/f2tp
  Replies (16) Good night (2877) Bad night (1700)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.

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  (704): you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/wl2h
  Replies (12) Good night (1747) Bad night (3656)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.

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  (727): He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god. http://tfl.nu/zb23
  Replies (22) Good night (1091) Bad night (2761)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours

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  (609): my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours http://tfl.nu/c2a1
  Replies (27) Good night (3189) Bad night (1724)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.

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  (815): This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro. http://tfl.nu/5jtw
  Replies (8) Good night (3701) Bad night (1430)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter

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  (732): he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter http://tfl.nu/lu6b
  Replies (5) Good night (988) Bad night (2121)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us

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  (413): We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us http://tfl.nu/tf0q
  Replies (11) Good night (2340) Bad night (895)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?

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  (407): Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night? http://tfl.nu/69ho
  Replies (4) Good night (1119) Bad night (557)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.

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  (585): Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello. http://tfl.nu/2jqd
  Replies (6) Good night (893) Bad night (1775)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.

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  (218): I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now. http://tfl.nu/xd1f
  Replies (7) Good night (635) Bad night (1169)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.

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  (708): Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job. http://tfl.nu/i4v1
  Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (368)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?

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  (856): Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them? http://tfl.nu/b8rj
  Replies (4) Good night (462) Bad night (907)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch

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  (425): The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch http://tfl.nu/197l
  Replies (7) Good night (560) Bad night (313)

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