Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I need to align my fucking chakras
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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