Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried

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(409): View more from Texas

white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"

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(316): View more from Kansas

Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.

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(386): View more from Florida

only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad

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(425): View more from Washington

you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass

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