Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.

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(607): View more from New York

you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.

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(607): View more from New York

Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again

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(407): View more from Florida

i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.

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