Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think

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(202): if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think http://tfl.nu/ufei

Replies (30) Good night (1571) Bad night (1286)
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(216): View more from Ohio

So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.

(1-216): View more from Ohio

Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.

(216): View more from Ohio

Take that integrity

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(216): So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever. (1-216): Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment. (216): Take that integrity http://tfl.nu/eyzw

Replies (48) Good night (3140) Bad night (756)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....

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(918): Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out.... http://tfl.nu/hiy4

Replies (14) Good night (4132) Bad night (713)
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(540): View more from Virginia

hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her

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(540): hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her http://tfl.nu/8ahn

Replies (19) Good night (11213) Bad night (1451)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.

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(704): I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it. http://tfl.nu/goy6

Replies (13) Good night (4304) Bad night (1396)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.

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(705): I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon. http://tfl.nu/humv

Replies (10) Good night (4194) Bad night (909)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.

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(701): Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle. http://tfl.nu/xafh

Replies (9) Good night (1368) Bad night (2009)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.

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(410): I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it. http://tfl.nu/7121

Replies (9) Good night (578) Bad night (882)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.

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(701): Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard. http://tfl.nu/ybia

Replies (17) Good night (2625) Bad night (565)
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(+61): View more from Australia

We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house

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(+61): We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house http://tfl.nu/x0d1

Replies (2) Good night (923) Bad night (580)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.

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(208): Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order. http://tfl.nu/2umc

Replies (3) Good night (431) Bad night (617)
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(818): View more from California

You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance

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(818): You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance http://tfl.nu/4g8g

Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (325)
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(323): View more from California

You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.

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(323): You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern. http://tfl.nu/mns4

Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (287)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex

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(802): I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex http://tfl.nu/scxh

Replies (3) Good night (285) Bad night (587)
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(714): View more from California

That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.

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(714): That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me. http://tfl.nu/ou1n

Replies (1) Good night (276) Bad night (999)

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