A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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