Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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