i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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