Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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