I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize