I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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