this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
