HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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