If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
