Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
