So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
