Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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