Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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