At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize