hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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