i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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