Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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