Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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