Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
vagina is talking i cant
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
