Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee

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(504): View more from Louisiana

i came on her dog

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(716): View more from New York

It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.

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(631): View more from New York

In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.

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(512): View more from Texas

Come to this bar

(1-512): View more from Texas

But I'm full of food.

(512): View more from Texas

MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK

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(303): View more from Colorado

We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.

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