Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
not ubering you a puppy
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
