Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
