is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
