Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he thought i was a dude.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
