just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
