I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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